Journey 2 Being

By Alfred Brown

This is the poem where I finally got to use the sentence that had been rattling in my brain for a few years “Everything was fine until I got shot in the face.”  I wrote it first sometime, probably around 2013, then I did some edits to it around 2014 or 2015.  The intention with the edits was to make the poems into songs.

27 -i will never make you happy

I will never make you happy
I will never satisfy
I will never make you love me
No matter what i try
You will always be disappointed
In everything i do
My love connection is avoided
I cant get next to you

C:
I surrender i give up
And I won’t fight no more
I realize i need love
But you have none in store

Every night im wonderin how
I can make you see
That the time for us is now
A time for you and me
I seem to fail in every way
I try and give my heart
It wont matter what i say
It’s over before it start

I don’t think you’re a bad girl
You just don’t care
I have no place in your world
Wouldn’t notice me there
You need someone who can excite
If you can be enticed
Someone to make you thrill at night
If one man can suffice

I surrender i give up
And i won’t fight no more
You treat me so tough
Cause you think I’m a bore

28 -a note

I found a note on the floor
It didnt say who it was for
It might as well have been meant for me
I didnt know for whomelse it could be
So i read it silently aloud
A skill of which im very proud
And it said that they, he or she, rather
Loved me or another, person, him or her

C:
A note
On which was wrote
A phrase
That did me amaze

That is the note said i love you
Who was i, who was you, i never knew
But it pleased me just the same
Without knowing his or her name
The intended reader nor the writer neither
I wasn’t unhappy not knowing either
I was glad to hear that someone cared
And thus the sentiment was doubly shared

Just the thought of love gives me mirth
So i wrote a note for what it’s worth
That said i loved the person too
My note also said i love you
And if found by him or her or someone else
It is true even if i find it again myself
I do this all the time for fun
Chances are i wrote the first one

Coda:
I love you, i love you…

By Alfred Brown

This is the poem where I finally got to use the sentence that had been rattling in my brain for a few years “Everything was fine until I got shot in the face.”  I wrote it first sometime, probably around 2013, then I did some edits to it around 2014 or 2015.  The intention with the edits was to make the poems into songs.

24 -swimming along

Im swimming along and getting by
When a floating worm catches my eye
It seems to be suspended in place
It appears unattended so i race

I quickly snap it into maw
Suddenly theres a pain in jaw
I know this sensation sure
I fell for that familiar lure

C:
Swimming along
Away from the throng
Not where i belong
can’t be free much long

Should’ve known this would happen
Thought to myself oh no not again
Been hooked before but got away
Shouldnt have come back to this bay

Im in trouble but not yet caught
Gonna swim all i can with all i got
But im getting tired cant go no more
I feel em reelin me into shore

So much for the short life of a fish
To’ve been the fisherman is my wish

25 -before too late

Suddenly i turn around, and see that im alone
Where could they be found, where have they gone
I call out to the sky, and say where am i now
I wonder if i have died, and if so, then how

Nothing makes sense, much less what i knew
Is there recompense, for what ive been through
If only i could call, someone for some help
But its like im on a tall, and inaccessible shelf

C:
I would not stop, so it did come for me
A one way drop, into eternity
I think my time, is over to me now
i do not find, time matters any how

If only someone cared, and came to my aid
Im feeling pretty scared, and i start to fade
I think it is the end, this is when i pass away
And at that momment, a friend decides to say

You’re not alone, we’re not gone we’re here
And then a light is shown, and i see them standing near
I was just depressed, i should have guessed it so
Next time ill do my best, before too late, let them know

26 -time on my hands

Time on, my mind never, my hands
I want to, get the best but, do what i can
Expect, the worst and get, no less
Say it, with feeling comes out, in jest
Try, to do it better, and see
So, it goes wrong, constantly
I’m feeling, I’ll get it for free but, poor
You get what you, can tell i, paid for

C:
Living on the edge
The living on edge
The edge of living
Of the living edge

Time on your hands, never do you mind
You want to do what you can, which is the best i find
Expect no less, that even at your worst
Say it in jest, good feeling comes first
Try and see, that you’ll do it better
So constantly, you’re not wrong, you’re the debtor
I’m feeling poor, because you get it for free
You get what you paid for, i can tell it’s me

By Alfred Brown

This is the poem where I finally got to use the sentence that had been rattling in my brain for a few years “Everything was fine until I got shot in the face.”  I wrote it first sometime, probably around 2013, then I did some edits to it around 2014 or 2015.  The intention with the edits was to make the poems into songs.

22 -and open your

And open your eyes
To the world all around
And open your heart
To one you have found
And open your mouth
To let sweet words pour out
And open your mind
To remove sense of doubt
And open your hand
To put a hand in yours
And open your soul
To reveal distant shores
And open your ears
Because this might sound funny
But open your purse
This is a robbery give me your money

C:
give me your money
Be quick and don’t delay
Give me your money
Cause im gonna take it anyway
Give me your money
It’s your money or your life
Give me your money
Hurry up i aint got all night

I aint gonna hurt you
If you do what i say
I got no time for games
I aint got time to play
Give it all to me
Every last dime
But keep the pennies
Cause that waste is a crime
I don’t want to hurt you
I just want your cash
Be swift but not so sudden
Don’t want to do nothing rash
Ill be gone from your life
Youll never see me again
Whether youll still be here
Depends on you my friend

23 -yesterday's rain

Someday when im old and grey
If my hair dont go away
Ill think of when i was so young
And i had so much fun

How i had not a care in the world
All i wanted was a girl
And it was all so simple then
All i needed was a friend

But this feeling would be nothing new
I get it every year or two
And later I’d wish instead for the year
I’d then have traded out of fear

I know ill stop and think of this
But what im wondering is
When i do will i feel the same way
As then as now and that day

C:
Does my memory lie
If so tell me why
Does it purposely misrepresent
Or is the truth not evident

Was it easy then and was it simple ever
Or is it just like the weather
When those drops no longer hit your eyes
You forget yesterday’s skies

And when the rain does come again
We don’t think about back then
We just think today it rains and so it goes
And not about those long agoes

And when some think, it was always sunny
I find this to be kinda funny
If it were like that, we wouldn’t know yet
That the rain could make us wet

And while there has been sun in my past
Have i ever thought it would last
Have i ever thought these are days to envy
Or would i only once they’ve past me

By Alfred Brown

This is the poem where I finally got to use the sentence that had been rattling in my brain for a few years “Everything was fine until I got shot in the face.”  I wrote it first sometime, probably around 2013, then I did some edits to it around 2014 or 2015.  The intention with the edits was to make the poems into songs.

20 -sleep

If i could only get some sleep
If i could only rest my head
I would go under so deep
You’d think i was dead

If i could only get some rest
If i could only lie in my bed
I know it would be for the best
Cause my eyes are so red

C:
I need some sleep
I need some rest
And count some sheep
Cause I’m a mess

If i could only close my lids
If i could only sleep well tonight
Like a baby or little kids
Who pull their covers up so tight

If i could only get forty winks
If i could only shut off the light
But my mind goes on and thinks
What is wrong and never right

Break:
No i never get no sleep
When i try im wide awake
And the next day im so tired
Until i try again for goodness sake
Why cant my mind do
What my body knows must be done
I dont know can only say
I never sleep, insomnia is no fun

But some day i’ll close my eyes
And im sure it’ll be for the best
My grave will say here he lies
He finally got some rest

21 -i don't want to presume

I dont want to presume
I dont want to assume
I dont want to o’er step
Not looked before i lept
I want to get this right
I hope with all my might
That i may say it clear
And this is what you hear

I know you love me so
You wont ever let go
But i want you in bliss
So i must tell you this
We can still be as one
And still have lots of fun
But you are you and see
That i got to be me

C:
Let me be your fire light
That guides you through your night
But when comes the day
My heat might be in your way

Don’t have a lot that’s mine
I only have my time
If you want it it’s yours
You can have it all of course
If you want me to care
And love only you i swear
I can tell you now is true
That would be so easy to do

I open my mind and heart
And you can taste every part
Every inch i give for you alone
And everything you do i condone
But though I allow any act
i can’t say that this is a fact
That fun can last forever
Just that now we are together

By Alfred Brown

This is the poem where I finally got to use the sentence that had been rattling in my brain for a few years “Everything was fine until I got shot in the face.”  I wrote it first sometime, probably around 2013, then I did some edits to it around 2014 or 2015.  The intention with the edits was to make the poems into songs.

18 -love story(duet)

Me: ah ah aaah
Her: ooh
Me: yeah

M: If i could i would make everything alright
H: this i know cause we sho got all uptight

M: Id change the past and at last we’d be together
H: we’d before open the door and face the weather

M: We’d have won and i would run into your arms
H: and id melt for I’ve felt the wonder of your charms

M: but instead i then said something so mean
H: and then i had to cry and make a scene

Both:
Why won’t you
Come back to me
Why do i wait
In agony
Why won’t you
Say you’re sorry
It’s not too late
For our love story

M: went awry that is why im lonely tonight
H: went astray so i stay in bed with the light

M: I am blue wanting you as a friend and lover
H: I’m thinking of living again with my mother

M: and it was all because i did you such harm
H: be alone or go home to life on the farm

M: that i’m here and you’re there or so it seems
H: And give up on our love, our hopes and dreams

Both:
Why don’t you
Come back to me
And let’s not wait
In agony
I’d say to you
That i’m sorry
It’s not too late
For our love story

(Break)

M: and so i
H: came back to me
M: i couldn’t wait
H: no more agony
B: i said to you
B: that i’m sorry
B: was not too late
B: for our love story (repeat)

19 -do you want my love

Do you want me do you need me
Are you even pleased to see me
I ask but i get no reply
can you give me a reason why
I should then ask or i should care
Or i should even stay right here
When i could just as simply go
But where i do not rightly know

C:
Do you want my love
Do you want my time
Do you want my everything
Do you want my mind
Do you want my heart
Do you want my soul
Or do you just want something
That you can control

Cause where i go i will be heard
But not by you you’ll get no word
Of how i am or how im doing
You dont know yet what you’ll be losing
But you’ll know it when I am gone
And then the pain will linger on
Thats the only thing I can say
That pain i know will come and stay
But you won’t hear these words either
I just know i will not be there

By Alfred Brown

This is the poem where I finally got to use the sentence that had been rattling in my brain for a few years “Everything was fine until I got shot in the face.”  I wrote it first sometime, probably around 2013, then I did some edits to it around 2014 or 2015.  The intention with the edits was to make the poems into songs.

15 -one day some day in a way

One day some day in a way i can’t predict
I’ll leave you’ll see and you’ll grieve when i do this
You’ll cry that’s why you should try to understand
i know I’ll go but I’ll show as best i can
My love enough lord above until that day
I feel it’s real to reveal and come what may
For when the end comes my friend I’ll be long gone
the sun and fun will be done wait for new dawn

C:
One day some day
Some way i say
be free just free
Just me and she

One day some day in a way i don’t yet know
I’ll find a kind of sublime love that will show
It’s true that you were not who was meant for me
Instead my head on a bed will lay with she
I’ll let her pet what i set on her pillow
While yes caress her each tress myself so slow
Our gaze then stays until rays divert our eyes
On this that bliss that gives kiss but never lies

16 -it's not the same old song

C:
Cause it’s not the same old song
And the song won’t remain the same
I try to sing it but it comes out wrong
And I’m left wondering who’s to blame

I can run but i cant hide
It follows me wherever i go
They have promised but they have lied
For what i see is what i know

There is no hope only despair
The end is coming soon
While they cheat i play fair
Again i sing a sad tune

The words the same or have they changed
I do not know any more
The rules of old have rearranged
And so it goes without a score

17 -nothing is mine

I have given everything in my possession
To you for you as you are my obsession
I will make and have made every concession
I’ll forsake god for you that’s my confession

C:
Nothing is mine
Even if i should find
You treat me unkind
I’ll follow close behind

I search my belongings but they no longer be
I have nothing left not even what i call me
I have no self nor valuables nor property
I have no claim to even hope or liberty

I give you my mind my body my soul
if theres anything else take it under control
If it’s yet in your grasp, you can take a hold
If it’s not, it will be, as i am bought and sold

Make it yours it is yours i am yours alone
i am nothing if i have anything that is still my own
Take it all, take my flesh then take my bone
Even if the pain should make me weep and moan

By Alfred Brown

This is the poem where I finally got to use the sentence that had been rattling in my brain for a few years “Everything was fine until I got shot in the face.”  I wrote it first sometime, probably around 2013, then I did some edits to it around 2014 or 2015.  The intention with the edits was to make the poems into songs.

14 -so tired

So tired
I’m dead
Dont feel right
In head

Need sleep
So bad
Cant get none
Im mad

Work hard
All day
Got no time
For play

Cant live
Like this
Waiting for
Some bliss

I need
Relief
I just get
More grief

Someday
I’ll rest
That will be
The best

Someday
Will come
Then i’ll say
Im done

C:
Someone take me far far away
Because i can’t survive another day
I need to leave i just can’t stay
I can not wait i can’t delay

So tired
Can’t think
I just want
A drink

But this
Wont slake
I could drink
A lake

Could take
A pill
Sleep and be
Tired still

Just not
Enough
Time to rest
It’s tough

Cause work
Wont stop
Not until
I drop

That day
Right then
Wont get up
Again

Cause that
Will be
rest that i
So need

14.5 -relief

Relief is a small word, but explains so much

R as in are you as real as your touch
E as in (h)e was always hanging around you
L as in (h)ell was where i felt bound to
I as in i am now the one you hold
E as in (h)e is now the one left in the cold
F as in f that guy you are mine evermore

Relief now my heart will feel never sore