By Alfred Brown
2.
There are at least a thousand wells, in this clearing of the forest. Sasuke is lonely. There is a palpable loneliness that rests inside as a gooey, almost nougat center that is, nonetheless, very much alive. He thinks he can just cut open his stomach and throw the loneliness into one of the wells, where no one will get to it again. Or, perhaps better yet, after doing that, he will go into another well. But what if the wells are connected at the bottom? Then he’d find it, and it would be very difficult to throw it up out of the well.
Before he started walking in the forest, a stranger told him two things. One, that it was going to rain. And, as all protagonists know, if someone tells you it is going to rain, it is going to rain. And, two, don’t go too deep into the woods or you’ll get lost forever. But, as any protagonist knows, you’re going to go deep into the woods and get lost and freak out, and then eventually come back. What is Sasuke going to do with two comments, one guaranteed to come true, the other guaranteed to not?
Unfortunately, as he has been going through this forest, he has slowly began to lose his memories. Instead he is gaining waking dreams. Things are not making much sense. Is that a kappa with a single long horn coming out of his head emerging from that well? Is there such a thing as a unappa? Sasuke, not knowing what to do, waves at it. The unappa waves back with his webbed hand and goes into another well.
“Clearly the wells aren’t connected,” thinks Sasuke, “or he would not have bothered to come out one to go into the other.” Sasuke then gets an idea. He should see if two of the wells are occupied, in case he wants to go down one and throw his loneliness in another. He gets some small rocks and drops them one by one into a well. But he stops. Because he sees the multitude of errors in his ways.
What if the Unappas can’t speak? Perhaps he is just hitting them senselessly with rocks and perhaps from such a height that they reach terminal velocity and really hurt? Of course, you can’t kill someone with a penny dropped from the Empire State Building—assuming you could reach that far out so it went directly down. But he isn’t hearing these rocks make any sound. He knows if he waits about 45 minutes, and then there is a sound, he will know the well is as deep as the Earth. But how would that sound be loud enough to reach him at the top of the well?
Also, there were other problems. Such as, how to get down the well in any way that could have him go up the well easily? Hmm, maybe someone will put a metal ladder on the side of the well. He reaches inside, but there is no ladder. That would be silly, anyway. And how was he going to get the loneliness out of him without a blade to cut it out? Assuming he knew where to cut, of course. Being in the well with his loneliness seems rather depressing. He tries to remember. Did someone with the name of Honda tell him to find something really deep and go to the bottom? Or did he say: “It’s natural for a sumo wrestler to become the world’s strongest! Can’t you do better than that?” Or could it have been “we make it simple” or “the power of dreams” or he could have been introducing a woman named Chun Li that he was having sex with as “you meet the nicest people on a Honda.”
He decides he’ll throw another rock in, this time a bigger one. Maybe that one will make a sound. And he hears someone yell from inside, “What the hell was that for! That really hurt!”
“Oh, there is someone in there! Hello! Sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you! Are you an unappa?”
“No, but I am a Capricorn. I was just lying here in this well, minding my business, when someone threw a rock at me. Was that you?”
“Well, I did say, ‘sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.’ So shouldn’t it be obvious?”
“I’ve been hurt many times by many people, so I don’t make snap judgments. Those are how people make presumptions that there isn’t anyone in a well and they can just throw rocks in it. I assume you threw the rock to see how deep it was.”
“No, actually, I threw the rock mostly to know if there was someone inside. I saw a weird creature come out of one and go into another. So, I thought maybe you were one of them.”
“You idiot. Why didn’t you just call out to see if there was someone inside, instead of pelting them with stones?” The voice grumbles incoherently. Sasuke feels a slight drizzle from above.
“Well,” says Sasuke, “I didn’t know if the unappa could talk and would understand what I was saying. Of course, then there’s the issue of how could they reply, whether I called to them or hit them with rocks. But that’s neither here nor there. It seems like it is starting to rain. I imagine the unappa can breathe underwater or swim or maybe crawl out of the well with their claws, but you might drown down there if you are just a regular human.”
“No, I’ll be fine. I like it down here. And I have a way to get out, when I want to. You can’t trust an unappa to save you. If it finds you alive in a well, it’ll leave you there. If it finds you dead in a well, it’ll have sex with you, then leave you there. And if it rains, you can’t swim out, because the rain hasn’t reached the top of the well since they’ve been made, more likely you’d just drown. They are very deep. But, like I said, I like it here.”
“You like it down there?” Sasuke was incredulous. What could possibly be down there to like? He has heard the expression “all’s well that ends well,” but that doesn’t exactly mean “go down a well it’s lots of fun.” But of course, just a few moments ago, he was thinking of going down it himself.
“Yeah it’s great. This used to be a wishing well. So, people would throw coins into it for wishes. But the only wishes that seemed to come true were ones that were small and likely to come true anyway. Like, ‘gee I hope she makes me a really tasty sandwich today.’ And she would, as she would be known for making great sandwiches. So, the people thought, naturally, for bigger wishes they would need to throw down more valuable offerings. There are treasures of immense value down here. It’s really great.”
“Wow! I could use some treasure.”
“Oh, there’s plenty here for both of us. Come down and I’ll get us both out of it when we’ve gathered our arms full of sacks of gold doubloons and Faberge eggs.”
“I don’t know. There’s no ladder on the side of the well and I have no rope to lower myself down. If I jump down I might break something or land on top of you.” Sasuke is hesitant, though he is poor. Perhaps he could get enough money to buy some friends, or at least get a proper doctor to remove the loneliness inside.
“Naw, it is really soft. Some people threw some really expensive pillows in here. I’ll arrange them in the middle of the well and stand with my back on the side. So you can just drop right in the middle and I’ll be fine.”
Sasuke thinks about this. He wonders what he has to lose, but he’s forgotten everything before he went into the forest. He doesn’t remember if he told anyone he was going in here, but he doubts they’d find this field of wells anyway. All he could hope for is someone with a magical sense of direction and intuition to find him. But, hey, there’s someone in there already. If the guy is lying about the stuff in there, at least he probably isn’t lying about having some way of getting out. If it can only get one person out at a time, Sasuke will just overpower him and take it from him.
“Alright,” Sasuke says, “I’m coming in.” And he jumps. It is a long fall. Long enough for him to think, “I really hope those pillows are soft.” And, of course, “Why am I doing this?” And, “Wouldn’t Fabrege eggs break if you tossed them down a well?” But of course, they could be in protective cases. He keeps falling.
From out of the forest comes a young boy. He sees another young boy hiding behind a bush near the well.
“What are you doing?” asks the first boy.
“Oh, nothing, just practicing throwing my voice,” says the other boy. “Let’s go catch some fish at the river.” And with that, they leave for the river.