By Alfred Brown
This is the poem where I finally got to use the sentence that had been rattling in my brain for a few years “Everything was fine until I got shot in the face.” I wrote it first sometime, probably around 2013, then I did some edits to it around 2014 or 2015. The intention with the edits was to make the poems into songs.
61 -fading fast (continued in part 8)
Nothing would be better
Than to have your love
I wouldn’t call myself a go getter
But with you I wouldn’t get enough
I want you now and want you here
I want to whisper soft in your ear
I want you til you can’t take any more
Like too many treats from a candy store
Nothing would be sweeter
Than the taste of your lips
Just show the way and I’ll follow the leader
Place my hands and I’ll hold tight your grips
I need you soon and need you always
I need you and how your walk sways
I need you til time stands still
Or until i finally give you your fill
Nothing would be nicer
Than to hold your body to mine
So squeeze me to you like a ricer
When you do it will come out divine
I love you and since the beginning
I love how your smile is so winning
I love you and will forever til the end
And when that comes i will again
There is nothing I could want
That you couldn’t give
There is nothing that I need
That isn’t in your div
You can do it all
And you do all you can
And it always works
When it’s in your span
You’re a class in itself
Can’t be made an id
Because I want you through out
The source of me
You got so much style
It cascades over all
Covers me like a sheet
Though you’re so small
Just a few lines that i carry
Everywhere I tag
And with you I never tarry
With you I never lag
True i get a little hyper
Want to text you all the time
I think you can decipher
The meaning in my rhyme
Because I want to stay open
Let everyone know how I feel
Because I need you again and again
With a slash and a kiss to seal
When I met you
You didn’t have a thing
When we were through
Every finger had a ring
You had furs you had diamonds
You had things you didn’t know existed
You had a zoo with imported lions
Your every want i willingly assisted
And yet even still
Though I gave you all that
You couldn’t get your fill
And you made me your door mat
I don’t know why I did so much
When everything never seemed to be enough
Why was I a slave to your kiss and touch
When the way you treated me was so rough
When I had nothing more
Nothing left to give
You walked out the door
And so alone i live
And I realize now all the pleasures
Weren’t worth all the time and money
All the gifts I gave all the treasures
Couldn’t turn vinegar to honey
So now I’m glad
Glad you are gone
And though I’m not mad
The lesson was a costly one
I learned first hand the ways of a crook
I learned first hand that old sage adage
I should have believed what i read it in a book
That most, if they can, will take advantage
At one time, i was all right
Things went as they should
But those days have past
Rarely anything comes out good
Things go wrong all the time
I don’t always expect it
But sometimes I do
Neither way matters one bit
If i could I’d change things
So they don’t go like this
But since i don’t know how
I might as well go on
The clock struck one
And she was still gone
The clock struck two
I didn’t know what to do
The clock struck three
I was feeling so lonely
The clock struck four
I couldn’t take any more
The clock struck five
I didn’t want to be alive
The clock struck six
I was on quite a fix
The clock struck seven
I was so far from heaven
The clock struck eight
I was so close to hate
The clock struck nine
I was running out of time
The clock struck ten
I couldn’t go through this again
The clock struck eleven
I started my engine revvin
The clock struck twelve
I left to go on by myself
Who wants to die alone
Unless they prefer to live that way too
Who doesn’t want to be called on the phone
Only the people who wouldn’t call you
Who wants to hurt all the time
Who wants to feel sad
Who wants to lose their mind
Who wants to be treated bad
But I want to be with you dear
I want to tell you how I feel inside
I want you to be always near
I want you as one to whom I confide
Do you like to be lonely
Do you like to feel pain
Do you like feeling homely
Do you like waiting in the rain
So I’m calling out hoping you’ll listen
I only have the strength to say it once
So write it down to remember it again
Not that I think you’re any kind of dunce
But I need to be loved and cared
I need to be cherished and adored
I need to have a desire that is shared
I need to your heart pure and out poured
When finally i passed away
I was not afraid of what came next
I just knew I’d go away
Id lose my body my mind my sex
I’d end up somewhere new
Some place I’d never been before
I didn’t know what I’d do
I didn’t know anything any more
Or maybe I’d end up nowhere
Maybe I’d be there all alone
If so what should i care
My fear of regret would be gone
I’d wait for death so long
I’d wait for pain to be done
Maybe waiting was wrong
Maybe i should have just had fun
But it was too late for that
It was too late to even care
It was time to take off my hat
And discard this shell i wear
And so i went away
And no i cant say whither
All i could now say
Is with your life so not dither
I wrote you over a hundred poems
And still i can’t think of a good word to rhyme with poems
Sure there is totems, but the only kind i know are poles
But if singular, take any of the words that ends with o’s
Then you add the contraction form of them
Or is that just slang, to just use ’em
And so if you write a poem
You can say how you know em
Or how you grow em
After you sew em
Then you harvest and stow em
Or maybe you show em
With boats you can tow em
And words like water you flow em
Unless of course it ends up ho hum
Then it might as well be sea foam
Can you tell i don’t use a rhyming dictionary
That’s because i wrote these all in the lavatory
Where there was no Internet connection
So instead i wrote this poetry collection
Rather than browse the Internet
Like the rest of you with smart phones i bet
Perhaps now that you know this fact
Which i could have left out if i had some tact
You won’t think these verses appealing
Well i can’t help if that’s how you’re feeling
I just wrote these to pass some time
Then I’d save the file, this is song 99
Dot docx and it’s about to become 100
Then it’s back to work once i leave the head
Maybe I’ll edit these before i start the next
Or just create the file New song 1 dot docx