By Alfred Brown
This is the poem where I finally got to use the sentence that had been rattling in my brain for a few years “Everything was fine until I got shot in the face.” I wrote it first sometime, probably around 2013, then I did some edits to it around 2014 or 2015. The intention with the edits was to make the poems into songs.
39 -if
If you love me why do you hurt me
If you need me why do you desert me
If you want me why do you say good bye
If you trust me why do you have to lie
C:
Cause i love you
I know you know
I feel it thus
I go and show
Then you hurt me
But blow by blow
You will reap which
You sew and grow
If you care for me why don’t you say it
If your light is bright why don’t it stay lit
If you feel for me why am I alone
If you’re concerned why not call my phone
If you cry for me why don’t i hear
If you’d die for me why aren’t you near
If you hurt for me where are your tears
If you long for me where are strong years
If you share love why do I feel poor
If you’ll let me in where is your door
If you try for me why don’t i see
If you’re chained to me why do you seem free
40 -changing
I don’t know if you’ve noticed
But things have been changing
I don’t know if we chose this
But it’s all been rearranging
What was is not any more
What is was not before
What will be can’t say for sure
Is this disease or is it cure
Changing
It all just keeps on changing
Nothing staying
Like it was when it made sense
So much for the past
So long for the future
When nothing seems to last
And the winner’s the loser
I used to know what was going on
I used to know how to sing my song
I used to care but now I’m gone
I might’ve been gone all along
If you ask me what to do
If you ask me where to go
I’ll just say it’s up to you
I’ll just say i don’t know
If you ask me what to say
If you ask me where we’ll b
I’ll just say it’s far away
I’ll just say i can’t see
(repeat last verse for coda)
41 -over and gone
Where did we go wrong
It seemed so easy
Life was like a song
Carefree and breezy
But when things had changed
We couldn’t go on
We just weren’t the same
It was a new dawn
C:
Over and gone
Over and done
There’s no light
There’s no sun
Over and done
Over and gone
There’s no way
To go on
With the coming day
Our eyes had new sight
We both had to say
Things were not alright
i asked you if we
Should say it’s over
And you said to me
It has been lover
Asked if you loved me
You said once you did
But you must be free
And away you slid
Now when I’m lonely
Thinking of the past
You were mine only
i thought it would last
But who holds you now
If someone now does
Kisses your sweet brow
I know how it was
When i kissed your lips
And them i called mine
Caressed fingertips
And now i just pine